Closed Door

So remember “A” aka my bff? Well, she unfriended me on Facebook yesterday. I am feeling very glad but at the same time hurt and sad.

I am glad because now I can finally say what I have been wanting to say to her.  Now I will not feel guilted into trying to make things better till we have our next big fight. Which will be about the same damn thing.  She’s never there for me emotionally or physically. But I am there for her.

I am hurt because that she didn’t even give me a reason as to why  she was unfriending me. Granted I haven’t exactly written her back but I have my reasons. She said that I could still be her FB (Facebook) friend so I could see the kids, in pictures of course. I guess that is not happening now? Even if me not responding back to her is the reason I think I should be told that. Ok maybe I am being selfish just a little. I can admit that. =]
I am sad because it really truly ends a friendship that I truly loved and thought would last forever. Granted I am talking about the friendship that was from five years ago but still. The last five years have been awkward, confusing, hurtful and lonely.

I know she is sad also but I really need her to actually tell me she is sorry for leaving me in the dust and not being meanly about it either. This is the same thing I have been trying to tell her for the last five years and she still doesn’t get it. If she were to tell me that she was gonna change and be that friend that she was five years ago would I still want to be her friend. Hmmm tough really tough. I might but something tells me that she won’t change.

So I better get to writing that letter and let her know that exactly the friend that she has been. No worries I will say my faults also. I am not that mean and I also realize that a friendship is a two way street.

Switches

How many times can J and N not listen. Being that J is 4.5 and N is 2.5 I expect one of them to listen better than the other. Yeah not happening in this house.  I have told them countless times to keep the basement light on and somehow it finds it’s self off.  Now I should have pulled them upstairs but the thought of them being way too loud in the kitchen is nerve racking and headache producing.  You see J doesn’t have a volume control switch. I have been trying to locate it for quite some time. I tell you I can hear him from blocks away. I am hoping one day I will find the switch for both the listening and the volume control. I will turn the one on and the other down.
Today they have been either fighting or just not listening.  So today I will be dragging their little  butts out of the house for a little walk maybe even to the park if the sun continues to shine.  It is cold here but not too cold that we shouldn’t enjoy the sun.  I am hoping that a little fresh air will change their attitudes and maybe even turn on the listening switch for a bit. A mom can be hopeful right? =]